This week I’m wrestling with the idea of whether our suffering has any higher meaning and purpose. I was born into a very dysfunctional family. I never got the love, encouragement or mentoring that children need.
I didn’t get a great education either though I do have a high
IQ. I had polio at age 3. Was there some reason WHY that happened? Throughout
my life, I’ve told myself that SURELY there was some higher purpose for God
allowing me to have polio.
Even today, that disease affects my life and health. I
married the wrong person and got pregnant at a very critical time in my life.
Did God let that happen for some reason or was it all just the result of bad
choices that a girl might make who grew up in a dysfunction home with no
support or love of any kind.
Today, I live with quite a bit of pain. I cannot do all the
things I could at age 30. And yet, I can’t go back to that time. The only
choice is to move forward.
My life did not turn out like I thought it would. I always
believed I would become a rich and famous writer. Though I did become a writer,
though I have written 50 novels, I’m still not earning much money and I’m definitely
not famous.
Is this all part of my journey here on earth? Was it
supposed to be this way? Or did I simply make too many bad choices?
When everything in your life goes wrong, it’s easy to blame God.
Did God do all this to me? Why didn’t he stop me from even meeting that
man? Or taking that job? Or buying that house?
I can clearly SEE now. I know all the junctures in my life
where I made the wrong choice and then suffered for years because of it. God
could have stopped me. He could have helped me make better choices.
Why does God allow his people to suffer?
