New Year New Mind

One of the huge chasms that separate the successful person from someone who is not living their dreams, is our mindset. We’ve all seen people who came into the world with major health issues like cerebral palsy, and yet they overcame that obstacle and went on to live a normal life. We’ve also seen people that came out of stark poverty where the family all lived in one big room and there was never enough food to eat, and yet they go on to become a successful athlete who earns millions of dollars each year.

A great deal of time and money has been spent on research to understand why one person can be born into a world where they have everything they need to be happy and yet they commit suicide at age 24 and another is born in a shack in Jamaica and becomes a wealthy business owner.

It’s very sad to hear those stories of wealthy young people who were so miserable that they just couldn’t go on in spite of having every single material possession one could want. Or people like Robin Williams, who was a brilliant performer, had a family, money and worldwide fame, and yet ends his own life in such a cruel way.

In my opinion, there are two forces at work here: the mindset of the individual and their perspective on life events.

I came out of a very dysfunctional home. As I write in my autobiography, when I was only 12 years old, I went to a local store and put luggage on layaway. When mother asked me why, I told her that I was planning to run away from home and needed the luggage so I could pack my things. She just shrugged and went on with her day.

I left home at 17 and never looked back. No matter how bad things got … and they did get pretty bad at times … I still never thought of moving back home. I got sick, lost my job, got into a bad marriage, got pregnant and had no place to go. But I still never considered going back home.

Yet, I’ve met some truly sweet people who came out of great homes with loving parents. They are still living with those loving parents at age 29. They don’t have to cook their own meals, do their own laundry or pay any bills. I don’t envy them at all. In fact, I feel sorry for them. They’re missing a really crucial component of life: Making your own way in the world. In my opinion, you do not do your kids any favors by allowing them to hang around and live with you after the age of 20 or so.

Humans are meant to grow up and leave the nest. When you meet people who never did that for whatever reason, you generally meet people who haven’t developed any tangible life skills. If life gets tough, they just go home to mama.

It was years before I actually came to count my dysfunctional upbringing as a blessing. Throughout my life, this has pretty much been the norm. I would fall down and there would be no one there to help me get up. I’d cry, then curse, then pray and somehow God would come along and show me a way out of my dire situation.

For this coming year of 2024, I challenge you to look at even the most negative things in your life as blessings in disguise. Try to envision how those bad breaks have actually made you a stronger human. So, what if your manuscript gets rejected? Just keep writing. If your spouse leaves, good riddance. If your family turns their back on you, it’s their loss.

You can cry about all these life events that happen to us humans or you can learn some important lesson and then move on … a better, stronger person. The only way you can really lose in the Game of Life is if you quit playing. Let’s see what 2024 looks like. Let’s go forward, not backward. Let’s repent of every mistake and then let it go and move on.